Meter reader guy: “I inspected your service line and nothing’s been tampered with.”
Me: “Thank God, I was worried for a minute.”
Meter reader guy: “I went ahead with the maintenance and you should be good to go.”
Me: “What do I owe you?”
Meter reader guy: “Nothing. Says here you’ve paid in full.”
I am happy to announce (no, not that, what the heck were you thinking?) that my B.S. meter is fully operational. It is so sensitive that it picks up the slightest B.S. kilowatt. Then the small hand moves. Fortunately, I am not charged for B.S. read. I’d be in a hell of a lot of trouble. However, I am developing a portable, handheld system that may be purchased for a reasonable price for those of you whose meters are not working properly. I have many people to thank for my highly, specialized meter but I will reserve my accolades for another time and place (the B.S. Oscars 2011). In the mean time, you know who you are. I do, however, have my speech worked out.
Me (accepting my award): “Thank-you. I am so honored. I would like to thank my family and friends for supporting me during times of high stress B.S. Next, I thank those red hands for spinning out of control and saving me from unnecessary naivety. I will treasure you always. For those of you who have fine tuned my meter because of the spoonfuls truckloads of B.S. you have dumped my way, my future appreciates it (bowing)!”
I am not posting this song because it was my wedding song. I am posting it for two special people in my life.
Special people, you must know that this kind of love is the only kind that will not fail you. It is the best way I can love you, the right way to love you, the most sincere way to love you. This love I’m referring to doesn’t remain seated warming the chair. This love doesn’t shuffle its feet and walk slowly away from all that it right and honest. This love isn’t a foot rest that exists for you to kick your feet up and chill on. When smacked down, however, it gets up over and over and over again. It is true, faithful, and unconditional. It is the best part of me I can offer you. Do not bring in the concrete mixer and begin pouring and pouring until the walls are so high, the light is so remote, that you get scratched and bruised and cut trying to claw your way out. Keep your hearts and minds open to the love that you knew and believed in.
Time to celebrate. Definitely NOT because the Panthers’ lost, again. Not because I’m sitting here eating a couple pieces of fabulous chocolate. Not because I’m happy to be feeling better. Not because I get to go see my son swing a stick and whack a puck tomorrow. Not because I have awesome friends who I am incredibly grateful for. Not because most of the Christmas dust is packed and put away. Not because my nephew scored three goals in his soccer game today. Not even because I have the most amazing family in the galaxy. This time, it’s about me (not because I’m NOT grateful for all of the above [except for the Cats losing] because I am). I hesitate to say this because I have a long standing tradition of not taking credit when credit is due. I get shy when compliments are given. If sitting, I slump as far down as possible. My darker, Mediterranean descent skin turns reddish when accolades are directed my way. But, for once, I’m going to give myself a compliment and mean it (I’m learning). Way to go! You worked you’re a$$ off and accomplished a lot in a short amount of time! Of course, there’s more ahead to conquer, but, you will! There. An affirmation for myself. I think it’s about time we, as humans, start to build ourselves up instead of tear ourselves down. I’m not talking narcissism or arrogance. Just showing ourselves a little love (and cutting ourselves some slack when necessary). So, hey, here’s an affirmation for YOU! YOU’VE done a great job (insert specifics)! YOU should celebrate! Pat YOURself on the back! Here’s to YOU! Cheers!
3. a public acknowledgment or celebration of divine goodness
Tomorrow, I will be engaging in numbers 1, 2, and 3. I hope you’ll join me. Despite life’s sometimes uncontrollable circumstances, we can all choose to be thankful for something or someone (or many things and many people). I am incredibly grateful for my family and friends who have been present when life has handed me cannolis (my favorite dessert) or when it’s dished out the Warheads. I also have a wonderful home, clean water, food, and a body pillow. Not going to lie, I am looking forward to mom’s Italian stuffing, mashed potatoes, and pumpkin pie (a large can of Ready Whip awaits). But the people I am sharing the meal with make the holiday. I hope you’ll join me in bringing to mind what or who you are thankful for. While I know, for some of you, Thanksgiving will be difficult and/or sad, remember that someone is thankful for YOU! Blessings. . .