Forget

his eyes
glass reflecting
vacant rooms once
occupied no dog barks
at passers-by from slatted
fences no hydrangeas spill over
borders onto sidewalks his stairway
doesn’t creak memories of silent visitors
treading paths long ago to and fro his attic
forgotten cluttered with shadowy recesses and
memories tucked away in ancient trunks with roses
crumbled given and received as love bloomed precious
lockets house faded photos once fingered by wrinkled hands

© Pamela Rossow

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25 thoughts on “Forget”

  1. I was wondering where you got the photo from? It is really perfect for a background image to a visual novel I am making for a school project. It’s due on April 17th, so I would appreciate it if you could reply as soon as you are able! Thanks so much! xx

      1. I have Nonnie’s with your photo, your brother’s and cousins when you all were little. Very precious.

  2. Great momentum… I could feel a wheel turning in my head as I read. As I muse more upon it I am beginning to feel that it is a steam-train rolling through the ether…

  3. feedback:

    his eyes
    glass reflecting

    “reflect” has a better sound than reflecting. sharper sound. also, you should look at verb parallels. keep consistent.

    reflecting
    barks
    spill
    creak

    see how reflecting doesn’t exactly fit with the others? would also sound better to make dog=dogs so you could use “bark” instead.

    reflect
    bark
    spill
    creak

    all wonderful verbs packaged in one poem

    vacant rooms once
    occupied no dog barks

    “vacant rooms once occupied” seems redundant

    bottom line, wonderful poem that can be even wonderfullerer. er. est.

    1. I agree with both of your observations. When I have time to change it and fix the format, I will! Thanks! In the first draft, I was waffling with verb tenses! I appreciate the feedback :-).

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