What Women Want

(This post is dedicated to the great Bald One since he is the master of rants)

A movie called What Women Want came out in 2000. You all remember, right? A comedy about a guy who was zapped by lightning and could get inside women’s heads? He could hear the internal, feminine dialogue of women everywhere which at first drove him crazy until he learned he could use it to his advantage. Like advance his career, land the woman he was interested in, and try to heal his relationship with his daughter. As we all know, that movie is in the genre of fiction.

While there are some men who have us figured out, many of you could use a bolt of lightning or a burning bush or a plane with a huge banner unfurling behind it that gives you step-by-step instructions on how to win over a woman.

Below is my top 5 of what women do not want followed by my top 5 what women do want. Yes, sometimes learning by negation is more effective!

My top 5 of what women do not want:

  1.  Do not feed us crumbs. Contrary to what you think, most of us like to eat and eat voraciously. If you can only provide communication “tidbits” (e.g. tech advances a couple times a year), we are not interested.
  2. Do not reveal your “size” in the hopes that we care.
  3. Do not keep us waiting and waiting and waiting only to never arrive after we have spent hours wondering (primping) and wondering (primping) and wondering (worrying) if you got in a car crash and are lying dead in the morgue.
  4. Do not have your next possible love interest lined up before you let us know it’s over.
  5. Do not give us the notion that you are willing to give us a second chance if you are a one strike you’re out kind of guy.

My top 5 of what women do want:

  1. Do feed us well by following through with ACTIONS (e.g. sincere phone calls, poetry, visits, CHOCOLATE, flowers, letters). Yeah, Hallmark Channel is inadvertently rubbing off on me. This is the food of romance.
  2. Do show us what your character is like (e.g. your ability to communicate well, your honesty, your faithfulness, etc.).
  3. Do pick up the phone if plans change. Manners don’t have an expiration date.
  4. Do be a man–tell us it’s over, THEN move on.
  5. Do admit if you can’t give us another chance to bat. Then leave us alone.

*Men, remember the Golden Rule*

For some of men, this list is as boring as they come. Therefore, feel free to add your insights in the comment section below (and kudos to you)! For many ladies out there and myself included, we will wait for our Mr. Darcys and in the meantime, live.

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22 thoughts on “What Women Want

  1. Interesting … I think one of the most challenging communications issues between men & women is illustrated by the fact that you listed the 5 things you don’t want BEFORE the 5 things you do want. Another area of concern is telling men how you want & don’t want them to break up with you. If they’re breaking up with you I’m pretty sure they don’t care what you want — just sayin’…

    • Linda,
      Hmmm. . . thanks for stopping by :-).

      I was simply listing the “don’t want” before the “do want” because I thought it was more interesting from a stylistic point of view–kind of how, within some types of literature, we learn by negation.

      With regards to your second point, it is true. Those men probably don’t care one bit. If you read the “11 Things” section of this blog, you’d know that I’m writing it for me as a “cathartic release of emotion.” Hence, I write for myself and those individuals who find my subject matter/writing style interesting–not for the men who won’t read this blog in the first place.

      I followed up with a What Women Want 2 on a whim. I’m sure that post will have some feminists in a tizzy :-).

      Thanks for the interesting perspective!


  2. Pingback: What Women Want 2 | Pamanner's Blog

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  4. Hey Pam –

    I really like this post, especially the “want” and “don’t want” lists. Paying special attention to #3 in a woman’s “want” list, I took the liberty to modify it by hand writing a note (she has no cell) and setting upon the bedroom pillow. Hopefully, she has already read it by the time I come to bed.

    I wrote; “Dear Pillow. I’m sorry I came to bed late last evening. I was responding to blogs, comments, and writing my own (see, “Liar…”). I’ll be late again tonight. Luv Ya xoxo”

    LOL……I like you blog. Happy Monday evening to you. :)

    • Hi Charlie,

      Ha-ha! I should have specified that one may improvise :-)! Love it!!! That letter could bump you into fulfilling two rules: #1 and #3! Even better!

      Women, of course, may reciprocate as well. Even non-romantic relationships may benefit from little notes placed in certain locations. “Son, hope you do well on your Spanish test and remember how to conjugate those verbs” or “Daughter, there’s a lemon pie yogurt in the fridge for you if you’d like it instead of toast.” Women, also, have been known to write love letters to their significant others. Those professions will remain secreted :-).

      Anyway, glad you enjoyed it and dropped by! Have a lovely day!


    • Hi Pam – HA! You did notice I covered #1 want as well. Good observation and catch.

      I’ve always been a note-scribbling, letter-writing guy (see: Mrs. Leban’s english class, HS….pretty girl in seat #14, lol). As word spread to my teammates of the English teacher’s interception of my love note, football practice later that day wasn’t fun haha.

      Hey come one now. Spill the beans about your secret letters!!! :)

      • You, Charles, have been tagged in my latest post (thought you should know). I am “spilling the beans” so you are not caught unawares.

        Hmmm. . . PLENTY of secret notes were passed in class between my BFF’s and I but as for crushes. . .well. . .those notes would no longer be secrets now would they? You did peruse my Love Letter Fest from Valentine’s Day, didn’t you? There were glimpses of secret letters/cards there :-). I still have many of them and they will go with me to the grave lol!

  5. Pam:

    How long did you take to figure this one out?

    I agree to almost everything. The second one in the first “My top 5 of what women do not want” was kick-ass.

    Joy always,

    P. S: Waiting to read what men have to say.

    • Dear Susan,

      YEARS! I didn’t realize some men have such difficulties with what seem like basics.
      Lol! I’d love to read your list sometime.
      The only brave men to comment were Charles and A!


  6. Wow thank you so much kind lady, i am blushing! great post and good to know, luckily i tick many of the boxes on the want you like want column, none more suprised than me at this!

    • You deserve it king of rants :-). Thanks for the inspiration lol. Not surprising. . . you are a man who expresses himself well and your lady must be very pleased. Lucky woman!

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