To the big guy in the red and white suit, you kinda scare me. Everyone says you’re a nice old man with a real, white beard and twinkly eyes but mommy and daddy say I shouldn’t talk to strangers. Or sit on their laps. Or let them hug me and whisper in my ear. Do you like to sit in the mall all day? Don’t you miss Mrs. Claus? But I like the toys you bring. And I made you a list and mommy mailed it to you. How does it get to the North Pole? Do you really have little elves? Do they really make my Decepticon Transformer in China? How do you get in my house again? Could you leave the presents on the porch instead? Please don’t come in my bedroom and leave a gift under my little tree. The porch is where your cookies and milk is. And a carrot for your Rudolph. Flying reindeer sound neat but I don’t want to go in your sleigh. Just don’t land on the roof. If you do, I might wake up if I hear a scary sound and then mommy and daddy will be super mad if I sneak in their bedroom and climb into their bed and wake them up and hide under the covers. Just fly them down onto the ground. And leave the presents on the porch, member? Thanks, Santa. Stay away from the green stuff daddy hung up. Mommy and daddy kiss under there and it’s gross. Oh, the list! I’m good, right? At least pretty good? I didn’t really grab Yoda out of my sister’s hand when she took him and I was playing with him first. I just sorta took it. It really wasn’t my fault that she isn’t good at Trouble and she started crying and I told her it’s because I’m the bestest Trouble game player in the world. I said I was sorry when she tattle taled to mommy. I promise I’ll go right to sleep. Even if I fall asleep on the sofa in the living room I’m still really sleeping, kay? I won’t be able to see you on the porch. The sliding door is dark at night. The Christmas lights don’t make it bright enough. So just go ahead and put the presents there, kay? Mom says I have to set the table with silverware and stuff. She says you’re watching. That’s kinda creepy but just remember my list, kay? Good night Santa. I hope you have a nice trip to Florida after Christmas.