According to my darling nephew, the letter “w” is for wedgie. No watermelon, wiggles or Wednesday–just wedgies. There is no designated time for “w’s” to occur. They may happen unannounced on any day of the week and wherever young exuberant boys are present. This is not to say that my niece–and other girls–do not participate in giving “w’s.” They just lack the bountiful zeal their male counterparts express when giving them. I don’t have to worry, though. The little munchkins don’t scare me. I just have to watch my back a little more .
Top o’ the morn (afternoon) to you! Although I am mostly Italian, the leprechauns visit us nearly every year. We forget to leave something green for them the night before and they punish our negligence by wreaking a wee bit of havoc. TPing our Christmas palms out front, strewing undergarments about, turning chairs upside down, leaving cabinet doors open, and, yes, even green pee in the toilet. A note usually accompanies the madness. This morning, however, was different from other St. Patty Day’s. My coffee pot was MIA along with my favorite mug. The little stinkers! I finally found my necessary items of addiction and was able to percolate a good, strong brew. Whether you are Irish or not, may you enjoy the mischievous teeny ones today and try to avoid their wiles!
May the road rise up to meet you. May the wind always be at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face, and rains fall soft upon your fields. And until we meet again, May God hold you in the palm of His hand.
Meter reader guy: “I inspected your service line and nothing’s been tampered with.”
Me: “Thank God, I was worried for a minute.”
Meter reader guy: “I went ahead with the maintenance and you should be good to go.”
Me: “What do I owe you?”
Meter reader guy: “Nothing. Says here you’ve paid in full.”
I am happy to announce (no, not that, what the heck were you thinking?) that my B.S. meter is fully operational. It is so sensitive that it picks up the slightest B.S. kilowatt. Then the small hand moves. Fortunately, I am not charged for B.S. read. I’d be in a hell of a lot of trouble. However, I am developing a portable, handheld system that may be purchased for a reasonable price for those of you whose meters are not working properly. I have many people to thank for my highly, specialized meter but I will reserve my accolades for another time and place (the B.S. Oscars 2011). In the mean time, you know who you are. I do, however, have my speech worked out.
Me (accepting my award): “Thank-you. I am so honored. I would like to thank my family and friends for supporting me during times of
high stress B.S. Next, I thank those red hands for spinning out of control and saving me from unnecessary naivety. I will treasure you always. For those of you who have fine tuned my meter because of the spoonfuls truckloads of B.S. you have dumped my way, my future appreciates it (bowing)!”
this moment} – A Friday ritual. A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment.
A moment you want to pause, savor and remember.
“This Moment” is a ritual I found on Life inspired by the Wee Man adopted from SouleMama.
Here’s my moment-
Be sure to leave a link to your moment below in the comment section!
Wow! A post on Monday the intended day! Fabulous!
I decided to enact a weekly blog ritual of posting something funny a family member says (will most likely be the kids). Fortunately, I get to see my niece and nephew quite a bit during the school year (and they’re little) so there’s boundless material to swipe from them. My children can be very witty but, because I am dealing with a teen and a tween, I have to be sensitive as to what I post. Therefore, I will clear it with them before I blog about anything that comes out of their mouths. Occasionally, the grown-ups crack me up so I’m including them when applicable (seniors have years of life experience and I’m happily shocked by some of their words). Mondays are usually a drab day hence the necessary “Humor Me.”
This past week, a few cute incidents occurred involving my niece and nephew. Aside from the Jedi training questions from a couple blogs ago (which were quite serious you know), others things made me laugh (or suppress laughs):
Suddenly, my nephew turned to me and said, “Auntie, you can’t have a leprechaun for a boyfriend because they’re sneaky and they steal!”
“What?” I asked trying not to laugh. He smirked at me and repeated his statement. I assured him I would not and he seemed relieved. Lol.
“Not at all,” Emmie replied. “I heard Santa open the front door at midnight. Then he put the magic, yellow dust on me and it makes me dizzy. Then it stops and I still remember.”
“Remember what?” I asked.
“You know Auntie. That I saw him.”
“He probably needs to use more dust for you then,” I said.
“Yeah, I guess so. That’s why I’m so tired. The dust didn’t work. I was up all night!”
(If you could have seen her convincing, little face and gestures as she explained it, even better.)
Life is never dull with little ones around and they are a continuous stream of humor. I’m so grateful to be an auntie and a mom! Till next Monday. . .